13 Feb 2023

For many February 14, also known as Valentine’s Day, means being bombarded with red hearts, pink and red flowers as well as phrases like “be my valentine” written in elegant scripts everywhere you look and go.

For those who are single and not happy about it, Valentine’s Day can be like rubbing salt to a wound. They also consider it as an annoying ‘commercial’ celebration.

While popular culture makes one believe that Valentine’s Day is only for love-struck couples, such is not true, as “it is a day of love, and love can be for anyone. All kinds of love should be celebrated, whether it is for an individual, your parents, siblings or children,” says a 43-year-old single mother of two, Boitumelo Monageng.

“Being single on Valentine’s Day means I can still own the day like any other. There are activities to show how much I love and appreciate myself. This year, I will be pampering myself with relaxing spa treatments at one of the local spas. This I know will boost my happiness in addition to my physical health,” she says.

“Spending time with friends is also a great celebration of love that does not involve romance.

“Last year, I invited my favourite single people over to my house, cooked amazing dinner, popped some bubbly and toasted to our independence,” says Monageng.

Botswana’s Afro-Jazz sensation, award winner and gender activist, Kearoma Rantao takes Valentine’s Day as a celebration day of love and affection for two people or for closeness.

“This day reminds me of God’s love, we learn love from the word of God, also from church where we were growing up, seeing it through our parents who lived together loving one another,” she says.

The Cheri and Auti Fashion owner, also a mother of five, says Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate the love and respect that individuals have for one another even if it is not for intimate and romantic couples.

“People should not shy away from not being in relationships by thinking that Valentine’s Day is not their day to celebrate, remember we have children, parents, siblings and colleagues. Just buy a rose or some chocolate and give it even to a stranger to show them love and appreciation,” says Rantao.

Contrary to popular notion that majority of men do not honour the day, for a few, including graphic designer Aggrey Boikanyo, he holds a different view.

“I will definitely get a small gift box of those sugary treats with a little lovey dovey note for my partner. This is a special day, so I will pull out all the stops and dress up in my finest. No matter what my day looks like, I will make reservations at a plush restaurant or have a nice prepared meal at home,” says Boikanyo.

Dressing up and grooming, he says, will make the occasion feel extra special.

Boikanyo further says there is no better gift than saying “I love you” on Valentine’s Day.

“I express my words with red roses, as they show beauty and love,” he says.

Tshepo Segale says it is time that streets are flooded with protests from boys and men about how girls and women like making Valentine’s Day a particular day about them, and them alone.

Even on Father’s Day, Segale says men get bombarded with messages such as, “Happy Father’s Day.” He says this is also a case on Valentine’s Day - a historical day that love is supposed to be celebrated by two people.

“If I come bearing chocolates and flowers as my opening gestures for the day to my lady, perhaps the lady should also have my favourite cologne or a bottle of my favourite whiskey. It’s always the girlfriends and wives who are spoilt with gifts, pampering at spas and so forth. As for us men dololo!” he says.

“Perhaps we should go on a full strike should we not get something today. This is not a one-way street and should not be treated as such. Maybe I am too liberal,” says Segale.

A florist, Malebogo Ncaagae, trading as lebo flowers gifting on Facebook, says there is an increase of business as the day gets closer.

“Valentine’s Day is by far our busiest day after Mother’s Day. The sales double and it is a busy month for florists,” says the 45-year-old Mmopane businesswoman.

To her, she confidently says, it is not all about flowers but also giving. “I have a production line working with me to ensure deliveries are made early and on time. I am ready to serve my customers today because I had long pre-booked orders,“ says Ncaagae.

 “We were busy these past days. We started preparing His and Hers wrapped gift packages and fresh flowers for our clients. We have cold room storage to maintain their freshness,” she says.

According to Wikipedia, Valentine’s Day originates as a Christian feast day honouring early Christian martyr named Saint Valentine. 

Through later folk traditions, the day has become a significant cultural, religious and commercial celebration of romance and love in many regions of the world. Ends