10 Jul 2018

Some people are born writers while for some, the talent gets ignited through life experiences.

The past experiences are often jotted down as personal diaries, only for the writer to later realise they can be compiled and transformed into a book.

Such is a transformational journey that the 36-year-old husband and father of two, Pastor Letlhogonolo Thabalaka mostly referred to as Letty went through. 

In an interview, ordained Apostolic Faith Mission minister and Botswana Defence Force) chaplain narrated how his belief in matrimony together with past experiences in love inspired him to write a book titled,  In or Falling in Love. 

The book that has seven chapters focuses on love and launched by Kgosi Kgari Sechele III in Gaborone recently.  It explores challenges people face in love affairs and offers counsel on how to handle such.

Drawing from the writer’s experience,  Kgosi Kgari challenged the youth who faced a myriad of challenges during their stage of self-discovery in life to arm themselves with knowledge in order to properly handle romantic relationships or courtship.

Kgosi Kgari said the book was ideal for the youth and urged them to purchase it in order to get empowered on strategies to avoid the pitfalls associated with modern love affairs.

“I believe this is a book that is quite relevant for the youth, who could be troubled in their relationships; who could be new to courtship or who are still in the process of seeking the right partner. 

Written by a young ordained minister who serves to guide people towards a righteous path in life, this book can assist us as we try to build a morally upright society and avoid conflicts,” Kgosi Kgari said. 

He added that loving others was central to the Christian faith and further pleaded with different generations to use such principles taught by the Bible to strengthen the moral fibre of society. 

The author, Thabalaka said he was inspired by his personal experience from the teenage years until he got to his current status as a married young adult.

Armed with a diploma in theology from a theological institute in South Africa, he said he could have written a book may be about finances, transport but what he values most proved him otherwise.

 “My strong belief in marriage as a proper institution to raise children in order to build a responsible generation propelled me to write a book. It explores the idea of choosing the right partner and was inspired by my own experience having experienced difficult circumstances before. Love is reciprocal, not where one party benefits from the relationship,” he said.

He said human beings by nature were inclined to love, but different approaches and varying personalities could lead to conflict. 

He however advised that true love was forgiving, patient, displays empathy from both sides and avoids long-term conflict hence the need for love to be nurtured by both parties involved.

He further said there were often dire consequences for those that failed to handle the emotions that come with love affairs noting crimes of passion and other social ills such as unplanned pregnancies, abortions, abandoned children and sexually transmitted illnesses saying they could result from the poorly managed relationship. 

He also holds a BA degree in Health Sciences and Social Services with majors in Psychological Counselling from the University of South Africa, an academic background that is pivotal to his writings.

He explained that initially he never thought nor dreamt of becoming a writer, but it started in 2008 when he decided to scribble down some notes on all the setbacks he experienced in the dating game. 

Thabalaka said during the initial stages, he had written 100 pieces, but something unusual struck him when he wrote a piece about courtship in 2010.

 “That is when I became organised and consulted other books.  I realised the whole thing could be worth reading hence the decision to compile all the pieces,” he said.

The book has topics making it easier for the reader to go through the life lessons which are not only unique to the writer but to any other person.

The first chapter, Broken Hearts Do Heal is his personal testimony to, which he said he discussed the contents first with his wife before he could share the experiences which others could take a leaf from.

He said the book was mostly dedicated to young people who were in pursuit of self-discovery in love related matters and issues of decision making in the journey of maturity.

Other chapters of the book address general issues to which he has infused biblical quotes, which he explains are central to one’s life.

 Topics such as How Would you know she/he is the one? and ‘Are you identical in character?` helps couples to see if they match and how the couple will relate based on their characters.

The writer also found it fit to include some wisdom through the topic ‘Frustrated Love’ which he says is inspired by the phrase ‘passion killings’  which has always frequented news headlines. He in his writings he explores the questions such as, ‘What is love?’ Can it kill?’ ENDS